A Question of Colour

I was having a conversation with a couple of friends, I can’t remember for the life of me what we were talking about but I'm going to take a wild guess and say we (or I) was talking about how I never meet guys. One of them turned to me and said, 'please, like you have a problem meeting guys. I have seen the amount of attention you get from men'. I explained to her that because I'm mixed race, I do get attention from guys but it's only because of the colour of my skin. She was very surprised to hear this because she honestly never thought of it that way. My other friend who was there is very blessed in the chest area and she felt it was the same situation she was in, the first thing guys noticed about her were her breasts and she’d actually spoken to guys who she was sure had no idea what her face looked like because they were too busy drooling at her cleavage. We ended up getting into a conversation about how being 'fair skinned' is on par with having big boobs or a nice ass ... guys can't help but react to you.

I grew up in Kaduna where being light skinned was never really an issue as there are lots of inter-racial families and also many of the Hausa people are quite fair. We moved to Benin when I was about 10 and I went to boarding school there. Apart from the fact that the most popular boys and girls in the senior class instantly appointed themselves mine and my siblings’ school mothers and fathers, I didn't particularly feel like I stood out or that I got any excessive attention in my time there. It was when I moved to Lagos when I was 13 that it all began properly. I went to ISL for a year and I must have been chatted up by no less than 6 boys on my very first day at the school, everybody knew who I was and I honestly can't count the number of times Uni Lag boys would drive by after school and park their cars down the road and either beckon me over to try and talk to me, or send another student to give me a message. I remember one sports day, this boy and his friend followed me around the entire evening, I mean they literally walked behind me for the entire time I was there. It wasn't just the guys though. I became a bit of an enigma amongst girls of QC as well. It started off with them not liking me because they thought I had stolen a QC girl's boyfriend even though I don’t do guys with girlfriends. This girl was very popular so the SS1 girls decided en masse that they hated me and during their Interhouse sports day, it was rumoured that they had bought water pistols and were going to spray me with them if I dared to show my face. Fast forward to a few months later, I met a cousin of mine for the first time who happened to be in my year at QC, she asked about the whole thing, I told her what happened and she made it her mission to clear my name at QC. Because they had hated me for several months and they now realised that I hadn't actually stolen this girl’s boyfriend, they became friendly instead. I remember going to this party once, and we were standing around outside for a while when my friends and I decided to go for a walk. A friend of mine called to me saying, 'hey B, wait up!' when I heard one of the QC girls also hanging around say, 'Is that B, is that B? Oh my God, I can't believe we are at the same party and we haven’t even talked.’ Lol ... I still smile about that now. A male friend of mine revealed to me a couple of years ago that there was a bet going round amongst some ISL boys about who would date me first. To drive my point home, let me explain that at that time, I was painfully shy around people I didn’t know, I didn't go to parties that much, nor did I go out with any of the bad/popular boys (parties and dating/’cutting show’ with the bad boys were usually the determining factor as to how popular a girl was). Basically, I became as popular and/or notorious as I did because of the fact that I was mixed race.

Now I'm not saying that the colour of my skin is the only thing about me that guys find attractive. I scrub up pretty well but when it comes down to it, while I know I'm hot, I'm also very aware that I'm not that hot. My skin colour is definitely a defining factor. Though I've been told that it's not just about skin colour but the whole package that comes along with mixed race girls like long hair.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it and I've accepted that it is the way it is. I'm just curious about why it is this way. And before anyone even thinks of leaving a comment along the lines of ‘please jare, like you don’t like all the attention. Ptcheew.’ Let me point out that I am that rare breed of girl who actually doesn’t like attention. At least not from anyone I don’t actually give a damn about, and random guys hitting on me on the street definitely fall into this category. Also as a girl, I would say the chances of any guy hitting on you being slightly dateable is about 50:50 so how come in my entire 12 years of being hit on, I’ve only ever come across like 3 halfway decent guys? In my opinion, there are very few advantages to getting lots of attention.

Anyway, back to the point of this post, I'm curious about why it is this way. A guy I was seeing once had a well documented attraction for light-skinned girls and his response was that we were different and that's why he was attracted to us. Why do guys like light skinned girls? Let's flip the script as well because I know a few girls who just can't resist a mixed race guy. So girls, why do you like light skinned guys? And is being attracted to fair girls/guys the same as liking girls with big boobs/asses and guys with dimples/muscles?