Friday, October 26, 2007

I Want a Man Who...

This is probably the most personal post I've ever written but it's forced me to really think about what I want in a guy. It's funny because I've had to overcome a couple of personal prejudices to write this for example, the first time I have ever uttered the words 'I want a man' was in the title of this post. Please note that I'm not saying I want a boyfriend, only that I'm open to the possibility of one.
I've heard that it is a good idea to write a list, a list of qualities that you shouldn't compromise on. I've been wanting to do this since I saw it on Yellow Ibo Girl's blog (and I've stolen a couple of points from her) so here goes.

I want a man who (in no particular order) …

… is a good person. There isn't one word I can use to qualify this but he should be the type of person who is polite and respectful to everyone because he doesn't think of anybody as beneath him. The kind of person who does good things not because of what he will gain but because it is the right thing to do. The kind of guy who says please and thank you, who would do anything for the people he cares about, who people call when they feel they have no one else to call. I need him to be the kind of person that cares about injustices and events even though they don't affect his life

… I'm very attracted to

… is ambitious. I don't care what he does, just that he wants to be the best he can possibly be at it. I want somebody for whom mediocrity isn't an option

… smiles, often and easily

… sees the best in every situation and in every person …

... likes to be active and likes the outdoors. For whom summer means walking in parks and hiking and exploring the city

… loves to travel

… will try most things once, if it doesn't go against his principles

… has principles and morals and who will stand up for them to anyone, including me

… recognises my strengths and believes in me more than I believe in myself

… tells the truth even when it is the most difficult thing to do

… is witty, sarcastic and has a great sense of humour

… gets along with my brother

… my family and friends not just approve of but like too

… is very intelligent

… believes me when I say that it is over if he ever cheats on me, and has no intention of testing the theory

… is thoughtful. He doesn't have to be a full blown romantic - I can live without flowers on valentines day but little, well thought out gestures go a long way

... is generous in every way. Not just with material things but with his time and affection

... who genuinely respects me, values my opinions and feelings

... is clean and tidy

... is secure

... who adores everything about me

I'm pretty sure I'll add to this list in the future but I'll stop here for now ... know anyone that fits the bill? (Only kidding). I know I'm picky but trust me, I'm totally worth it ;p

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Nothing Worth Living For

Sorry I've been away for a while, and thanks for actually missing me. Truth, your comment was very funny and while I didn't make your challenge of updating before the 30th of September, it's only a couple (okay 4) days after.

Another apology for returning on a bit of a depressing note but this is the first time I've felt compelled to write in a while. I heard today from someone I used to work with that a man that also worked at the company commited suicide a couple of days ago. He hadn't come into work for two days and today, the MD got a call telling him that the man had thrown himself in front of a train. He was in the process of a divorce and when his wife had left him about 5 months ago, he didn't come into work for quite a few days and when someone managed to reach him, they heard the news. He came in a few days later having lost a couple of stone and while he was obviously upset, he was the same as he always was and did his job well.

Two things struck me when I heard the news today. The fact that you never know what someone is going through. The people who worked closely with him are crying and beating themselves up thinking that they should have realised something was wrong. But from what I can remember of him, there was honestly no way to tell. He was in his late forties or early fifties I would say. A tall, good looking older guy, and a bit of a flirt. He was witty, very posh and I remember bursting out laughing one day when I heard a conversation he was having with someone where he went '... and as I said to Judi Dench...'. He became a bit quieter after his divorce and it was no secret he wasn't handling it very well but I couldn't have been more shocked when I heard the news. I sincerely pray nobody reading this has ever thought of ending their lives, but if you have, please talk to someone about it, they'll give you some perspective and give you a reason to live, even if it's only because they don't want to have to live without you. A regular of a pub I used to work in when I was at uni also killed himself. He was young, handsome, very funny and very friendly. There was a bar maid who was totally in love with him because he was so charismatic and yet he was obviously dealing with things we couldn't see.

The other thing that struck me was that I couldn't imagine (although I literally tried) the feeling of having nothing to live for. That feeling that there is nothing good about life until he finally woke up one day so tired of it, and unable to face another day of living, he wrote a note and jumped in front of a train. I thank God that suicide has never ever crossed my mind and that there has not been a single second of any single day that I haven't had plenty to live for.

In theory, my feelings about people who commit suicide aren't favourable. When faced with it though, I just feel overwhelmingly sad. It feels like such a waste of a life.

I pray for the people who love him and I pray he finds peace.