Someone sent me an e-mail reply to my post on Emotional Infidelity vs. Actual Cheating. I thought it was interesting …
Hi Vickii,
I am responding via email to this blog because it is late and I want you to read it. I was asked the same question when I was having an affair with L. L knew I was married and we fooled around a couple of times. L being very thoughtful as usual said she would rather have actual cheating because there is no depth to it. I totally agree with her. I have been with other women and it was purely physical, for all I care she could have been a Barbie doll. No questions asked, no conversation, came into my apartment, bent over, I was done and she left (3 mins tops). Pardon me if this is graphic or offensive. I am trying to convey how detached I was, I just simply wanted to unload one.
I have asked my self why men cheat. Consider Halley berry’s ex; you can have the crown jewels at home but still go out for junk. There are so many reasons. Believe me when I say I really love my wife and family and will give any thing to guarantee their happiness. I just feel my extra stuff does not come in the way, or hope the wife turns a blind eye. I am not one of those guys that would flaunt it in her face. It is done with total discretion. However I know it is still wrong.
There is no excuse for it, but Bill Clinton, JFK, Bill Cosby, Frank Sinatra, Benjamin Franklin, Theodore Roosevelt all cheated and the list goes on and on. I have heard statements like ‘Men can separate love from sex’, ‘Men cuddle to have sex and women have sex because they want to cuddle’, it just seems as if the act is merely a physical release sometimes, and that is why we can look the wife straight in the eye and say "But I did not love her".
When you combine Emotional Infidelity with actual cheating, that is a dangerous cocktail because you now have both the physical and emotional attachment to that person. You talk about every little thing with her, which type of detergent does she recommend, mundane stuff that is worthy of a G8 summit. You don’t just get up and go, and you hold her, try out every possible position you can imagine, phone sex becomes a regular thing when you can’t see her and when you miss her call, you dial like a mad man.
Why can’t sex with the wife be like this? Is it because you are both inundated with balancing family life and somewhere between ballet and swimming lessons for the kids and your careers, you just take her for granted? You only have sex when you want to sleep quickly, it become your valium. I don’t know.
Anyway I hope this does not ruin your opinion about men in general, I believe there is such a thing as dignity even when it comes to having an affair.
Hello anonymous,
Thanks a lot for your email; it was interesting to read your perspective on things.I would normally be quick to criticise your behaviour because quite honestly, I feel very strongly about men that cheat but I think the fact that you've written in such a matter of fact manner and admitted that you know it is wrong, renders whatever I would say redundant.
Can I ask you a couple of questions? First of all, I feel that you kind of copped out in the end when you say you don't know why men cheat. Why do you cheat?I assume you've cheated a few times over the course of your marriage. You say you hope it doesn't get in the way of your relationship or that your wife turns a blind eye. So what would happen if a time came when it did get in the way of your relationship or your wife stopped turning a blind eye? Would that make you stop?
I think my view of men has become quite realistic in that I believe most men cheat, however this will not stop me believing that the person I end up with never cheat on me, and it won't change the fact that the way I feel at the moment, I would end my marriage if he did.
Would you mind if I put your e-mail and your response (if you respond) on my blog? If you do mind, I won't ... just let me know.
Vickii,
Go ahead, by the way what's the URL to your blog again? I would like to read more.
Men will cheat for a variety of reasons; from sexual incompatibility, lack of communication, lack of oral sex hmm ... I don’t know, maybe just because we can do it? Please note that this has nothing to do with beauty or finesse. In a man's physique we are able to compartmentalize stuff; we can separate sex, love and beauty. Whereas for most women it’s a package, the whole thing is bundled into one. "I can't sleep with him if I don't love him"; "He's not fine". These are statements you hear from women. The perfect wife for most men is a good cook, a good hostess and a whore in bed. Sometimes you just feel like you want something different. After making love to the wife for so long, it’s almost like masturbating (doing it your self). And again I repeat it has nothing to do with love, it’s just a hit. I don't know about women but I have met someone for the first time and fantasise about F...ing them. Men think about this every 3 minutes. With me, I truly enjoy the company of women (Bill Clinton's excuse in 1998), and that might be another reason. If you have met anyone and you enjoy spending time with them, it is very easy to end up in bed with the person. Flip to genetics and I am sure there is a gene responsible for this male behavior because that is one distinctive factor between the sexes.
It’s unlikely that what I do will get in the way because firstly I am not out there looking for women. I am pretty busy and focused on spending quality time with my family. Talk about Soccer dad for someone who does not play any sports.I make sure we eat dinner together every night so we can talk about what going on in our lives. So if I would be cheating the woman has to understand that I don't have a lot of time. However if am ever caught I might deny it just like Bill Clinton and see how far I can get away with it.
I don't want to sound sexiest, but let’s flip the script on you. Let us say your man cheated (just a little bit), say a one night stand. Would you leave him? I would advise you not to. Why? When you leave, are you going into the convent or will you be out there dating again? You were once settled with a home and children, a safe haven. Now you have to go back to the dating scene. How many men will you sleep with before you find someone you will marry again? Note that this new guy you are about to marry will also have his own baggage. If you re-marry, are you prepared to be a step mum to the 15 year old girl who constantly yells ‘You are not my Mummy; you’re just sleeping with my Dad’? Or is it the 14 year boy who keeps harassing your little 5 year old? Oh by the way I forgot all the baby mama drama from your step-kid’s mother when she calls your house and says, "Give the phone to x".
At one time in your life the boundaries were clearly drawn and everything was simple; there was one daddy and one mummy which was very easy for the kids to digest and now you have 2 new dads and 2 mums. Think about this very well.
There are ways to keep your man in check, but if he's going to stray, he will as long as it’s done with discretion. Most men just like to feel we are in control; we really don't have to be at the wheel, so think twice.
Oh by the way I have to go and read ‘Alice in Wonderland’ to my daughter for the 3rd time this week, its bed time here.
I am sorry for lack of punctuation.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
46 comments:
IM FIRST FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!
now down to business....personally i find his entire explanation a PATHETIC excuse as to why he cheats on his wife.
wasn't done leaving my comment....
A difference in genes between the sexes? implying that there's a gene that makes guys cheat? total BS. Not to be chauvanistic or anything but that is such a GUY THING to say. Spare me - There is no such thing as a cheating gene!!!!
There will always be men who cheat (and women too) but people shouldnt try to justify a pityful situation by saying no emotion is attached when they cheat. If this guy finds himself going out time after time to cheat on his wife (especially with him being so busy with his family and all) he needs to stop and check his situation. There is something seriously wrong in that relationship and he obviously shouldnt be in it anymore. Just because you love someone doesnt mean you have to stay with them.
Cheating is JUST CAUSE to end a relationship or a marriage. Once a cheater always a cheater - which is obviously the case here.
oh by the way. title should state "Unremorseful Husband who continues to cheat on his wife and arrogantly brags about it"
LOL. ok im gone.
I am just sitting here thinking to myself why bother getting married if you are so willing to treat marriage like its a joke. I am also surprised that he talked about the difficulties of dating for the woman without mentioning what financial difficulty a cheating male could get into after a divorce if the wife is able to prove his infidelity. Anyways to each his own!
my eyes almost hurt reading this whole thing. he is still trying to justify cheating....and even though few (FEW!) men dont cheat,
they exist.
and i will rather have them than no one.
i disagree TOTALLY with the last letter he wrote to you. What he is essentially saying, is that cheating is genetic and inherent in the blue print of men so women should turn a blind eye. That is bull. Men are not animals that cant control their urges. As human beings we possess an ability to say no and control ourselves. Is he saying God set men up to fail. Christianity and the bible endorses s one man and one wife, no side dishes. That God made men genetically promiscious then set them up to fail. I do agree the male of any species is made to maximize the amount of children they sire however we are not animals are we. we can control ourselves. Also society esp Naija society endorses this behavior. Its now the status quo. They are some men that do not cheat, they are few but they exist.
Sorry for the long comment but after recently going through this with someone its a touche subject for me
Okay,
Maybe I am of the old time religion,but how do you justify cheating on your wife?.
I have a reservation for very questionable characters. if the "supposed married man" writing this letter thinks cheating is in a man's genetics then his relationships are in jeopardy.
I will leave a relationship in a heartbeat if my "soulmate" cheats on me. I do not use the word soulmate loosely because that is what my husband will be to me.
if we share such a deep connection, why would you want to hurt me.
I am sorry this post is getting a little long but permit me to say it touched a raw spot.
My point being, there is no justification for ignorance, if you chose to destroy a family setting and your sanity.. please go ahead and do so over a piece of ass. Excuse my french, just had to let that out.
Twisted logic. I suppose that's one reason I'm against marriage. When you're in a non-marriage relationship and cheat, it's very easy for the other person to do the right thing -- break it off.
Sadly its the same excuse. i just don't know. As for being genetics..bullshite
I feel sorry for him the day his wife finds out and if she is strong enough to leave him because young, successful Nigerian men with no previous marriages nor children are marrying divorced Nigerian women with kids. I know of 3 guys already and no, they're not ugly guys without options!
It's pathetic to suggest it's down to genetics. The reason people cheat and do so repeatedly is because they can. How ironic would it be if his wife were cheating on him too?
Genetics? Haven't I heard that a million times.
Please!!! There are women who cheat because they love it, because it's exciting - the thrill of trying not to be caught, because they are bored or whatever reason and I don't think they blame it on predominant male genes, in their "special" case. I hope there are some men who don't claim it's in their genes.
It's society jare... men know they can cheat and get away with it. Or if they are caught, they can fix the situation and continue where they left off - CHEAT! Some men work hard at not cheating and just so you know women work hard not to cheat! How many yummy looking guys have I seen on this earth? If I am in a relationship.. they will still be there. It will be my personal choice not to cheat on my bfriend/spouse/partner.
I have no sympathy for this guy and I don't understand where he's coming from but.... I am not surpsrised, his reponse is so common, who can blame him?
Just a little add-on: It's because of this kinda stuff that I am not a fan of marriage(for me).
Vickii..
I'm sorry but this guy is such a complete coward.
You know it's not soo much the cheatign that bothers me, it's his completely idiotic justification.
he says things like.. 'the woman could be a barbie doll for all he cares' well if that;s the case, why not by a blow up doll.
He goes on to say that men cheat for a whole variety of reasons including, sexual compatibility, lack of communication, lack of oral sex?..
i mean for real.. does this mean that his wife is cheating also?.
i mean don't people work out if they are sexually compatible before marriage?
Why chose to spend the rest of your life with someone who cannot give you head, when getting head is one of the most important things to you?.
He did get it on the lack of communication though, he as a husband doesn't seem to have communicated his need to his wife.
Either that or he probably doesn't want to reciprocate by placating his wife's needs.
you know, these seems to be more about sex and bad sex at that.
i mean the guy says '3 mins top' I mean Jeez, no wonder the wife doesn't want to do anything with him.
And that's the worst thing.. this guy says he loves his family, yet would do this not because of an emotional attachment..oh no! but because his 3 minute lasting ass can.
That's the crux of it. He has a problem in his home, and he ain't man enough to fix it. All this cloak and dagger bullshit instead of talking to your wife and exploring the safest freakiest, most adventurous relationship you guys can both build.. You do this.
I had to laugh when he paraded a list of men who cheat, I mean really I had to laugh.
Do men really think they have a monopoly on cheating?
Does this man really think that what he isn't doing at home another man is taking care of?
He is cheating, his wife is probably cheating. He thinks he is being discreet... puhlease.. she knows.
you r wife can smell another woman on you miles away.. she probably just doesn't give a damn anymore, cos guess what.. you ain't fucking her right either.
You don't talk to her, you don't find out her desires, she's tired of telling you how she likes to take it, she's scared you would think she is a freak if she told you what she wants to do.
gosh, I've been witness to a married couple who visit 'adult stores' together, They try role play, bondage, everything, just to keep their marriage interesting.
They have sex activities lined up for pretty much every weekend of the year and this couple still find time to surprise each other and shock each other and love each other and stay faithful to each other. They takle vacations to hedonist communities to indulge in each other. their inhibitions with each other are completely blown out the water and if you see this couple, they can't keep their hands off each other.
Because they fulfull each other's desires.
That's what it's about, and that's what this 'man' is lacking.
And all that stuff he wrote.. is just plain BS.
the fact is this guy is just selfish period. He married a girl he was sexually incompatible with, he didn't care about how he viewed sex, he probably liked the look of the girl and though.. hmmm would make a good mother and that was it.
What a jerk!
First off Londonbuki, you are wey tooo precious to me, so please, I know you may not be a fan of marriage but please please stop using it against your name biko. The Lord will settle you in all depts, no nagativity. Im praying that one day you will find someone good, cause there are good men out there. You are blessed in every area of your life.
I just dont have any comments to say concerning this post. The man justified himself in his own eyes and has refused to see anything wrong in His actions. And we all know what the bible tells us of such people and what becomes of them. I pray he gains wisdom before such.
Have a blessed week.
Yikes, hope this fellow has bulletproof.
Dang...the first email was quiet realistic...the second one just got mad twisted...i'll rather have no-one than sumone whose hellbent on cheating on me just because there are no emotions involved with the other person...BS...great post Vickii
Gosh! things like this scare me so much. I'm just so confused right now. I don't think I could possibly go on in a relationship with someone that cheated on me. Anytime he's away from me, I'll just have it in my head that he's cheating again. If you truly love me, why can't you respect me enough not to cheat on me? I'm so sick of hearing the bull of "oh! Guys can have sex without emotions" . . . .going out of our marriage to sleep with someone else is breaking the bond of our marriage, basically. It sucks! And it leaves me so scared.
I re-read what he said and this man is an idiot.
Does he really think that women out there don't creep on the low with 'Fugly men'.
His idea of women seems to be some fairy tale disney movie he watched as a child.
Has he ever walked the streets of wherever he is and wondered why that 5foot 11 inch gorgeous women, that women who makes men wanna just empty their pockets and makes women wanna change their sexuality, is walking hand in hand with that jacked up looking, short ass fugly man?.
Here's a little secret Mr 'Women can't compartmentalise' It's dick!. The man is putting that shit down on the regular.
Yeah really, women can't compartmentalise.
Wow. No commment. This guy just had to justify been able to cheat. What if his wife came home and told him "i slept with a so and so from the office, no big deal, it was just physical and i dont have any feelings for him". wow i would like to see his reaction then. Talk about cheating men being hypocrites.
@azumi: dont let foolish men (Provs 7) like this guy scare you away from the marriage.You just have to pray and shine your eyes in the market. I used to be skeptical on the issue of marriage but i have seen role models of men who take their marriage seriously. i can only hope and pray to God on the issue.
Even if it was just 3 minutes tops, its still no excuse to cheat. If it was his wife bending down '3 minutes tops' to some other person, he certainly wouldnt be happy.
I'm so sorry for this man's wife. She sure married a LOSER!
I have a few words to describe this man: lazy, useless, egotistical and selfish.
I am sure he is the kind of person that will be running around with a chain saw if his wife was to reciprocate his actions. I am tickled by his analysis on the reasons why a woman should stay in a marriage of infidelity.
If sex with your wife is monotonous, it is probably because "you" are doing the same "three minute routine".
Men are creatures that are prone to stray. I agree with him when he says that men seperate sex from love. Women do tend to associate alot with sex because our bodies are designed to receive "into" and we have to be very careful what we let in and why we let it in. men on the other hand have parts that are external to their body so it makes sense to say that the use of it is just as external to their feelings.
Either way, i am not that invested in the idea of marriage. Oprah is my role model
This age old issue...The responses are interesting but i am not reading anything new..sadly...which is also scary
WOW, WOW, WOW! What a big load of BS! This guy can not be serious...anyways, no comment. All I can say is I feel sorry for his wife.
is this for real??.IS HE FOR REAL???...Hssss....Total BS...
HEY bloggers,we are still kicking it on blogville idol ..this is the 2nd to the last session and we have 5 contestants left!pls go to our page and listen the contestants via the voice comment player and vote for ur favorite..pls dont forget to leave us a comment ..tanx PINKPEKE PRODUCTION
Men cheat because women let them. That is the honest truth. If you knew that you could get away with something you want, wouldn't you do it?
I am guilty of forgiving a cheating man and I will put my hands up.
What amazes me is the utter lack of discipline amd control that men possess. How is it possible to grow up and not learn the lessons that experience and life is trying to teach you. Cheating, lying and deceit have become the foundation for most relationships. Is this the legacy we are handing down. That its alright to cheat because its just sex.
An ex boyfriend told me, when I confronted him about a girl, that he had "fucked her" but he "makes love to me" What utter bullshit. Its obvious that guys think we are stupid and gullible.
CHEATING IS WRONG. THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR IT.
I don't agree with this dude in the least. I'm a guy and even when I get the genetics gist from my female friends I get riled up! Life is a consecutive of moments in which we make decisions and we should recognise our responsibility for each one we make whether conscious or not. In the end we'll answer to all of them anyways.
A seemingly uncontrollable reaction for guys might be getting turned on at the sight of a sexy girl, but the instant you make any moves it's all conscious, if not you should be in the next X-Men movie.
As for not getting what you want sexually, unless she suddenly stopped you're as much to blame as her. If it's important to you then maybe you'll get fed up of compromising it, just maybe.
I've never had a deeply intimate relationship, so I realise it easier for me to say I've not cheated than alot of guys, however for what I think it would take for me to get into such a relationship, it's only that much more unlikely I would cheat, temptation is not an excuse. If we don't keep and work towards impeccable ideals there's no doubt our imperfections will always triumph.
Also women and society at large need to stop vexing then accepting it and even making excuses, then it won't look like such a sweet deal for those that can get away with it, but evil will always exist until time ends.
I could go on, but that's probably enough ranting... adios
LOL! This dude has totally justified cheating without even realising it. Bottom line-when we want to continue doing something that we know is wrong, we come up with the most sophisticated theories to explain away and justify that behaviour. That's just what he's done here. And LOL @ "3 mins tops!" Great post again, Vickii.
You know as much as I disagree with the guy, I have to respect him, he actually said it as it is. I am a guy, I love my wife and would never dream of cheating on her, however I know of many blokes married with beautiful families who would not think anything of having a "quickie" elsewhere when the wife is unaware, do they admit this? HELL NO! As far as the world is concerened they are PERFECTION as a husband personified.
I am in no way encouraging him, but as I said, he actually has said it as it is. He told the truth that applies to a very high number of men out there. For me it's not about justifying what he does, it's about him putting his point across, have you noticed no where did he say he will STOP cheating. Well that means no matter what is said, he will keep on living HIS life the way he deems fit.
It's a shame I feel cause to me marriage is and always will be a sacred institution between, man woman & God. We all wish we lived in a perfect world where this was always the truth but we really do not live in a perfect world.
Women pray hard your man does and will not cheat on you, men pray hard for the will and love to stay faithfull to your wife and family. We should all be true to ourselves as oneday we will stand before the maker and be faced with all our "hidden" sins.
Suby (A VERY proud to be FAITHFULL too his AWESOME wife kinda guy)
I refuse to believe that all men are like this... I pray that the man that i settle down with, my future life partner, will not have the thoughts as this man... it in not inconceivable to expect a man to be faithful, in ALL aspects f the word... Suby, guys like you give me hope and something to keep reaching for...
while i understand it takes alot to stand up and admit one's wrong doings, that does not take away from the wrongness of the deed that the man has committed...
i just pray and hope... for that's all i can do...
~DD
interesting read
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=449030&in_page_id=1879
Hilarious....in a not too humorous way though. From his writing we all know he's a smart cookie and as much as we all hate to hear this, his insensitive tale is the 'truth';the reality behind those good daddy figures most men parade.
I have this weird image of the "Sex demon" in hell holding the most "havoc medals badges".
Bottom line, pray for the men (ur brothers, friends, father) in your life.
Perhaps i read over this too quickly but not once has this gentleman mentioned or put HIS WIFES FEELINGS into consideration. dosent anyone find that a tad selfish?? Do men really believe that cheating with discretion is meant to be somehow better than cheating openly? News flash: either way you are MURDERING your wife's spirit.
I wish i can get a man to understand that wether you are cheating for a quick 3 minute relief or whatever...theres a point before the action where you must have thought about your wife. i HONESTLY believe that men who truly love thier wives will keep it in their pants and the ones who dont (but think they do) dismiss the thought and go right ahead.
Even worse is the situation where the women are the infidels. It appears that this anonymous gentleman and perhaps a lot of other cheats do what they do believing that the wife wont leave because there are 'too many complications', and she'd have to sleep with loads of men (like thats such a terrible thing) before she gets it right again.
I hear what this guy has said...but im not entirely convinced by his reasons for infidelity.
you need to be a man to understand what this guy has written. He is right and has told you people how it is, but trust women you don't listen and learn instead you let emotions and sentiments get the better of you. Most of my friends are married and I have heard their reasons it isn't far from what this guy has said.
If una like make una attack me join and call me names too but I wouldn't join the bandwargon of those calling him a fool, an idiot etc etc because the man has just told you how it is.
For men the temptation is great and the will power is weak in most. It takes the will of God to resist.
oh shut up Ubong da.
just shut up.
He said his own, a lot of other people said there own.
If you actually bothered to read what people were saying instead of glossing over it, you will understand that it wasn't the cheating that really got to most people itinsane excuses he used.
And the presumptions and ill conceived justifications he used which you are using as well.
'For men the temptation is great'.. really
And I suppose you think the women who are fucking this man are just doing it not because they are tempted to fuck him, but because they felt they had to open legs because he wants them to.
You talk to much crap. You claim that women don't understand men, but then you think you are an authority on women and lo and behold you are not.
I suppose you don't think the temptation is great for women?...
lol... you are soo funny.
Ever wondered how often women think about sex, do you know how often some women get wet during the day, do you know how turned on women get by simple things...
Do you know what we think when we look at the guy on the corner who sells our newspapers?.
The man said his own, many people including another man who didn't agree with your view said his own.
Save your opinions about women, cos you really don't know what you think you know.
Instead of listening and learning, trust this particular man to show his obtuseness and let his ignorance get the better of him.
Next time why don't you put your natural dislike of women to one side, and actually read and comprehend what is being said, before jumping to conclusions about what an entire gender represents... cos quite frankly.. you don't know jack about what you think you know about women
Very Insightful. Thanks.
May not be what we women want to hear or what we agree with but it gives us (especially married women) a glimpse into a world/mind we dont often get a look into
The usual lame excuses... very sad stuff. The second email is truly pathetic.
As Soul pointed out, it surprises me that some men arrogantly seem to think they own the patent on lust and temptation. I really wish they could get a taste of their own medicine. Our society makes such a big fuss about women cheating and justifies it for men - very sad. What's wrong is wrong.
I do have to thank this man for opening up, though, cos I agree with jd that we women need to hear from men like these so we know what some of them out there are thinking, doing and worst of all, justifying to themselves.
At the end of the day, it can all be summed up in one word: 'selfishness'.
Great post Vickii, and a lot of great comments up there too.
@Soul I sense bottled up anger and frustration in you. hmm interesting. Where did you get the impression that I am an expert in women eh, you seem to be jumping to premature conclusion.
This is cyberspace girl and not a boxing ring, I just say my piece and move on, you don't have to agree with me, there is freedom of speech you know.
Meanwhile watch the swearing and choice of word it doesn't present a good image of you.
@ubongda
I sense weakness and an inferiority complex in you.
My impression was from this statement you made
Ubongda wrote: 'but trust women you don't listen and learn instead you let emotions and sentiments get the better of you'
PS. I never said you were an expert, it's patently obvious that you are anything but one.
I know what this is 'boy', do you?.
So when you spit verbal diarrhea and attempt to label an entire gender as emotional half wits... guess what?. Someone can say something on it.
You do have freedom of speech, just like everyother person who commented before you but who you dismissed as knee jerk emotional liabilities incapable of functional thinking.
Meanwhile..
Fuck off. on the condescending, patronising bullshit.
There.. does that present a better image of me now Ubong da?.
I'd say you should watch the misogynistic bullcrap you are spouting... but I'd hazard at a guess and say you'd paint yourself as some kinda victim just like you attempted to do with the 'free speech' stuff you pulled.
You know you didn't have to agree with anyone with a different point of view here..
There were at least 2 guys who said they didn't buy this guys bullshit excuses... but oh no!
Reading comprehension seems to be a problem for you doesn't it?
The crazy irony about this though is that someone like you, who writes the things that you, is actually telling me to watch my words... you have got to be freaking kidding me..lol
What a chump?
I've been meaning to state my opinion for a while but it's taken me forever to get round to it ...
I don't think this guy is any different from at least 40% of the male population ... the only difference is he's letting us in to the workings of his mind. This is why I posted these e-mails, not because it was something new or different, but because it was insightful.
Everytime I've spoken to guys about cheating, they always bring up the 'fact' that sex is different for men and women and the opinion that men have needs that women don't understand. I think cheating is always wrong, regardless of the situation and whoever does it, husband or wife.
Interestingly, while I'm normally so ready to look for any excuse why I don't believe in marriage (a couple of years ago, I was more anti-marriage that Buki), now it just makes me that much more determined that I'll do everything I possibly can to ensure that I'll end up with one of the 'good' guys.
Ps: people, please be nice on my blog. By all means have differences of opinion - I love the controversy - but please express them in a respectful manner! You might not respect or agree with an opinion or point of view, but please respect the person's right to say it.
just thot i should add a cent: most men cheat cos "stolen bread is sweeter". i believe its called the transient pleasures of sin. you know its vague, not right but somehow your self control lets you down cos u seen too much, said too much and thot too much. The reasons y women cheat are not too far off.
Commenting on very old thread but gotta respond to original poster.
Some women feel like marital sex gets into a rut too. We’ve gone out with friends for a couple drinks, ended up shooting a game of pool against a couple of hot younger men who laugh and flirt and make us feel young and sexy and desired. A quick one with a young stud would certainly give my sex life some zing. And husband most likely would never find out.
Why don’t I do it? BECAUSE IT’S WRONG. IT BETRAYS THE TRUST MY HUSBAND HAS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.. and that’s just for starters.
How would this guy feel if tables were turned and it was his wife were the one going out having quickies with strangers because she found having sex with him as moring as using a dildo? Would he be able to look the other way or get over it fast when he found out?
Probably not. Men are such hypocrits. And to assume that women can’t do prowl for one-night stands just like men is ridiculous. Women have sexual needs and desires just like men. It’s that usually they have enough self-control they don’t act on it.
Post a Comment