Tuesday, November 14, 2006

McNaughty

'You have one new voice mail message. Message received yesterday at 11:31 pm ... The lady who doesn't answer her phone. If you know who this is, call me back. Bye.'

Hmmm, of course I knew who it was, it was McNaughty. I didn't know he was in the country. Then again, I never know he is in the country until I get a voice mail message like this one. McNaughty is a guy I met last Christmas in Lagos. He is a friend of a friend and happened to live in the same estate that we were staying in. Everything about him screams bad news. He has a shaved head and a goatee, he's tall and he definitely has a presence. He's older than me, works in one of the oil companies and has ambitions on becoming President of the country one day. All of this is wrapped up in a very attractive package topped off with an arrogant swagger that seems to suggest he gets everything he wants.

I could tell he was attracted to me from the get go, and as I normally do when faced with guys like him, I wasn't having any of it! I was polite but not friendly, and declined a dance later when he asked me to dance. However over the next few days, we went to a lot of the same places and we ended up going out, just the two of us. I'm not going to say he isn't arrogant, or doesn't think he can have everything he wants, but there is a lot more to him than that. We saw each other more or less every day and just had fun, going to bars alone, going clubbing with friends, and just hanging out. We kissed but we never did anything more. In fact, one of the first things I said to him was 'I'm not sleeping with you, so don't waste your time if that's what you want'. I had so much fun that holiday and that was in part because of him.

The downside was I fell out with one of my friends over him because she thought he was bad news and he had a girlfriend. And even the mutual friend who introduced us told me to be wary of him. I found out a long time after that he did have a girlfriend but at the time, I had asked him and he told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't. As I tried to explain to my friends, I didn't need looking after. I was having fun with him because I knew I was only there for two weeks and once I left, that would be it. I knew that my friend's fears about him were valid but I knew I would never get involved with a guy like him in 'real life' and I was just having fun for a couple of weeks. The thing is, I know he liked me. Not just thought I was pretty, but actually liked me. He told me the night before I left, ‘I’m serious about you. I’ve spoken to you everyday for the last two weeks; I don’t do that with everyone.’

Surprisingly, he stayed in touch when I came back, and we called each other every once in a while and texted pretty often. In May, I got a call out of the blue from him saying he was in town and did I want to meet up? At the time, I was working two jobs and didn't have much time so I only had one evening to see him as he wasn't around for very long. We met up at a pub and just talked, him trying to put his arms round me and so on and me being very insistent that this was going to be a completely platonic meeting. At one point, I was saying I thought I would end up with somebody older than me and somebody that was outstanding in some way because I'd need to have enormous respect for him, when McNaughty looked at me and asked. 'So, where do I rank on this scale of someone you could see yourself with?' At first I tried to brush off the question because I didn't know what to say, but he was insistent so finally I admitted to him, ' you're not somebody I would end up with. I'd need to be with somebody who I believe can be faithful to me, and I don't think I could ever believe that about you'. He got very offended and tried to convince me that if he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with someone, then he would be faithful. The whole date was kind of surreal, he seemed to be trying to convince of another side to him, and I wasn't convinced, not because I don’t think he’s capable of being a good (honest and faithful) man, but because I’m not willing to be the one who finds out.

He didn't contact me after that. I'm not sure why but I assumed it was for the best. No calls, no texts, nothing. Until now and the voice mail, 6 months later.

I'm going to call him back.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah just be careful and whatever you do, dont lie to yourself. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

lol..DANG!...Im fallin for this ur "McNaughty", and i dont even know him...Y r we always attracted to the bad boys??? The ones we know will break our hearts at the end of the day??..There is always that pull, that attraction ..that is so hard to resist.AND WE ALWAYS FIND THEM DURING XMAS HOLIDAYS IN NAIJA!!..lol...Go with caution on this one oh..Good luck mami...

LondonBuki said...

McNaughty sounds McHot and McDangerous!!! LOL!!!

We can't help but be attracted to bad boys cos they have mastered the art of turning women on...

Let's know how it goes and as Noni Moss said, BE CAREFUL and BE REAL WITH YOURSELF! Enjoy babe, Enjoy ;-)

Favoured Girl said...

Errrrm.... I've forgotten what I wanted to say :-(

TMinx said...

Yes be careful of these Lagos types lol. Seems like most guys are hooked up and want to be certain that you want them before they break up with the other girl. Whatever happened to coming single and correct?? Lol, Im sick of hooked up guys!

Uzo said...

Be very careful....

Onada - Fashion and Photography said...

no harm in calling him! you already know your stance but like everyone has said be careful :)

Biodun said...

Call him, everyone has their own McNaughty,lol, some do eventually grow out of their bad habits, but most of them never! Have fun but be careful

Anonymous said...

So what happened?

NaijaBloke said...

1982 likey Mcnaughty!!!

Seems u r attracted to this guys as well.Mcnaughty sounds like someone I know and hope I dont know u sha..LOL

Anonymous said...

What happened to having the fun of the moment? Worse still, with McNaughty! Ooh you gotta be the McMistress hun!!

Anonymous said...

i keep coming back here to see what the update is on mr. man..lol
this is so "sex in the city", and dude sounds exciting... however, i would caution you to stay away... especially since you can't trust him.
i absolutely hate it when men lie that they are single.. especially when they aren't...
sounds like you have a good handle on things though... can't wait to read the update!

Anonymous said...

hmm..ok, we r waiting now...Have u called him?:)

Unknown said...

LOL Don't want to leave you all in suspense ...

I did call, turns out he's going to be around for a while, about a year... should be interesting. However, I always said that I would never have gotten involved if we had been in the same country and I guess it applies now and as Belle said, he lied about having a girlfriend and that is a huge deal!

Long story short, I have no designs on getting involved so you can all breathe a huge sigh of relief and I'll let you all know if anything changes or if anything interesting happens!

Favoured Girl said...

Phew!!!

Right, keep us posted.

Discombobulated Diva said...

So, did u call him back... what happened??? what happened???

Now, I'm not one for setting myself up for failure, but this situation could go either way... I mean, it was good that you were up front with him about what you thought of him, but that doesn't mean you can't get to know him better...

anyways, don't keep us in suspense... let us know what happened when u called??

~DD

soul said...

1982..
you wanna know who is gorgeous and won't lie to you about having a girlfriend....hmmm..
Grissom from CSI Vegas..
you wanna know who is gorgeous hmmm...
Gary Dourdan from CSI Vegas! that's who..

Forget Nonimoss and London Buki.. and that grey's anatomy (urrgh) and join my CSI cult!. lol..

On topic: be careful, some times things/people whose attitude we don't like but tolerate, have away of being around us when we are vulnerable and open.
And try to convince us that we are the only people who can understand them..
they are very good at creating an illusion of a growing bond. He sounds like one of them. they are expert manipulators and they are best avoided.

Be well..

Miguel said...

Nice blog! will be back for more.

Anonymous said...

Tweet, tweet, tweety, Tweet. Do be careful -- sounds like the kind of guy who takes pleasure in the chase...

Justme said...

McNaughty sounds very familiar. hmmmm.......he might even be a blogger........
thecrazythoughtsinmyhead.blogspot.com